Support team goes awol ...

No, thats fine, off you go, enjoy your holidays, I am sure everything will be fine this end.


ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

I believe that I have previously mentioned Sandy, the lovely and amazing fertility nurse. Well, if not, Sandy is amazing. She is completely calm and unflappable and never fails to mind me either being insane at her or ringing to ask a question for the third time. She has been part of this journey for the last year, and is unfailingly positive and chirpy, even in the face of outright disaster. So, today, I go in as usual for bloods (one reason why I love her, regardless of how dehydrated I am, she can always find a vein and only takes out a cm of blood!), and she casually mentions that she will be on leave next week. All week. Including Thursday which is my pregnancy BT. I am slightly disturbed by how much I panic at the thought that Sandy will not be there for that. What ifs, you know, what if its another chemical, what if it fails again, what if the prog is too low, or it doesn't double or blah, blah, blah. No Sandy???

The other nurses are fine, and lovely too, but no Sandy??

It gets better, I have been having acupuncture for the last year, and today, Alex casually announces that he will be on leave next week as well. But thats ok, cos I can always see the other practitioner. Now, I have nothing against the other practitioner (apart from the fact that he looks like he is 12, Doogie Howser has nothing on this guy) but Alex has been sticking needles in me for the last year.

Now I hate to be dramatic (no really, I do) but this is only possibly the most important week of my life and my carefully controlled support team is just vanishing. Spot thinks I am probably over-reacting but little does he know. Its amazing how much you come to rely on the bits that you can control, given that so much of this is out of your control. I like seeing familiar faces, I like it being the same voice giving me the bad news on the other end of the phone, I like that I don't have to pretend that I am positive with these people, but can be bloody annoyed at yet another failure.

I do hope they enjoy their holiday, I just wish it was any other week.