Choices, choices, choices

Well, we got through Sunday. It turns out that cupcakes are an excellent way to ward off any bleeding. You might think that sounds odd, but the only thing different about last Sunday was that I ate my own body weight in cup-cakes so logically - that must be it. I am thinking of marketing it as a talisman against all woes.

You would think that this would help, but not so much. Cramps are so much worse today, and insomnia has moved from a minor inconvenience to fatigue that makes my body ache. Still no actual pregnancy symptoms and at 9w 4 d, I am starting to despair. And no, lovely people, that does not make me lucky, or happy, or any positive word. When you tell me your stories of morning sickness so bad that you were hospitalised for 4 weeks, I do not feel like I have avoided something awful, I just get upset that I have missed that experience again (I am fairly resigned to the fact that I am mad!!). I spent an awful long time trying to be pregnant, is it too much to ask to actually feel pregnant.

On a related note, surprisingly enough, my infertility does not define all my political choices, nor my entire life (well, I try not to let it anyway!!). Please let me explain - RU486, the termination pill was made legal in Australia over 3 years ago, to provide options for women seeking a non-surgical termination. Yesterday, I repeat yesterday, the first Dr's licences to actually prescribe the drug were provided to 16 Dr's around Australia. Yesterday afternoon, I received an email and a phone call from a friend who suddenly revealed herself as a Right to Lifer, and was part of an organising party for a rally to protest. When I politely declined, she was flabbergasted (its true, she gasted). "How could my experience not make me value the sanctity of life?" It's funny, when they talk about that, they don't seem to mean the sanctity of the mother's life.

She got cranky when I pointed out that my experience was much more likely to make me value terminations so that I never attended another baby shower again in my life, nor had to endure another pregnancy announcement from someone who accidentally got pregnant, (they tell me that sex has something to do with it??) But seriously, folks, this choice thing is a hard thing, and I am not sure that it is something that our society is always good at. A women's right to choose is just that, and we must learn to really support all choices that women make, not just the ones we get to make, or the ones we like.

The other great debate (screw the GFC, we talk about the important stuff here) that appears to be raging is the homebirth debate. The Federal Government has recently introduced legislation that will prevent women from having midwives at home births therefore rendering homebirth effectively illegal in Australia. Would I consider ever having a homebirth? Hell, no, I am trying to work out how they can put me in a induced coma for the last 3 months, but I do support a women's right to birth her child however she feels like. It would appear however that this is a naive view and I have to come down on one side or the other, be branded and outcast either way.

It goes on:

women who breast feed versus women who bottle feed
women who use cloth nappies versus women who use disposables
co sleepers versus cot sleepers
women who work in their home versus women are employed elsewhere
women who use formal childcare versus women who don't
women who elect ceasarians versus vaginal birth.

At the end of the day, we are all just trying to get by and make the best choices we can, for ourselves, our families, our friends. Its about time we stopped beating each other up over that.

Ps. No, I still won't go to your rally :)